If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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