in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
