she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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