there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize