you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
