It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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