Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
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5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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