sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
