Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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