sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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