She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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