Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
