Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
