Got a toothbrush?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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