What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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