i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
