Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
