if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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