You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
