You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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