He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
