It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
