I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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