i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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