We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
one might say we're banned from that church
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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