god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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