4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
