Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
