addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
