I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize