I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
