Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
