Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
