i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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