So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
