Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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