Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year