College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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