Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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