you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
