im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
