How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
