you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize