a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
