just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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