you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
