life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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