we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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