someone threw a dead crab at me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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