she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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