Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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