So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
