Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can I color on your dick again?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
