I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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