C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
